Music

There are certain song's that will ever be associated with moments in my life, just as I'm sure there are for you, for everyone. Song's that never fail to take you back to a place, a time a feeling that you had when you heard it and it took meaning for you.

In a Lounge with Broken Wings wasn't a song that I'd ever remembered hearing before, but that night it made it's mark in my memory. It was my last night in New Orleans before heading back to Las Vegas (i'd been there almost three months and it was time to go back to face the music). I was with friends, trying to hold on to the moment, sad to see it slip away and feeling like I had unfinished business. I knew my time was over; I knew that everyone else knew my time was over as well, but it didn't stop me from wanting to linger a moment longer.

Every time I hear that song, i'll remember looking around One Eyed Jacks, listening to the band play, shaking hands, kissing cheeks, saying my goodbye's. I remember listening to people promise me that I wouldn't be gone long; I'd be back, and I knew I would. i wouldn't be coming back to what I was leaving behind though, that I knew. As much as I was going to miss it, I was really saying goodbye to more than just New Orleans. I was saying goobye to the moment that I was in and mourning the moment I was going back to end at the same time. I was saying goodbye all around, to people, to places, to things that i'd miss. There was no sharing that moment with anyone and I knew that. Sometimes it doesn't matter how many people you are surrounded by, you are the only one really hearing the music that's playing.

"I sat down, by myself...in a lounge with broken wings...."

This week I went back and saw The New Orleans Bingo! Show and I fell back into the first time I heard the song. I'm back living in New Orleans just like everyone said I would, and I'm a happier person for it. For the course of that one song though, I was back in that moment. I've moved in a different direction in my life and when I heard it it again I was with someone that tragically missed the show the last time; we were laughing about life today and then I was there again, in that goodbye moment.

Despite what i've written here, the song doesn't make me sad. It's bittersweet for me and feels like the long ways that I've come between then and now, but it's not sad....well, at least not always.