Close

We've been getting along well, spending more time together than I'd imagined we would. We've gotten closer, more quickly than I might have thought would be the case. Maybe it was timing, maybe it was need but whatever the spark was, it was there for us both, it seemed.

I knew all along the impossibilities of our situations (I think we both did). It took a sobering moment to bring us back to who we are and what that means to each of our respective situations.

We sat over coffee, looking away as often as we looked at each other. We were quiet, kind to each other as we always are. We asked about the other persons past, explained our own and hugged goodbye, parting under the notion we'd think about were we could even go from here and come back to the conversation a few days later.

We've had some wonderful moments together and really appreciate each others company, but I think we both know that the most we can be hopeful for is friendship. In this case that isn't the consolation prize it might be otherwise. To count her among my friends would make me fortunate and I wouldn't dare under-appreciate that. I adore her and who knows, maybe the closeness that we have will make us the amazing friends to one another that it would seem we both need in our lives, the pressure of expectation being lifted allowing us to just be.

As she said it herself:
"... engulf ourselves in each other's warmth when/if it's needed. There's comfort in knowing that there will be someone to have a drink with, someone to watch as they eat, someone to hold hands or hug you when you need it, someone to watch a movie with....for the time being anyways."

I'll always be you your friend and am happy to have you in my life, no matter how.

Still though; I can't help but sigh a little.....