Detroit

Taking a break

As you may have noticed, I've been a bit far removed from blogging here lately. It's for all good reasons, I assure you. I've been busy with work and visits to see family. The remaining time is spent with the most wonderful distraction imaginable.

I've met her parents and she's met mine. Last weekend we celebrated the one year anniversary of our first kiss and though there were many obstacles between the time that we met and the moment we were finally able to be together, we wouldn't be dissuaded and I'm happy about that.

We'll be leaving New Orleans this fall. It's time. I love New Orleans enough that it's brought me back three times and it was the place for me after the divorce as well as while I healed physically. It's time for something else now though, because it's not the right place for us at this particular moment.

We went shopping the other day and stocked up with the intention of keeping our refirgerator full until we leave. We made dinner together and it was nice to be back home after we'd been apart for over a week (while I was in Detroit and she was back in Texas). We went out for a little while in the evening to celebrate a friends birthday and headed home early enough to watch a movie before we slept.

This mixture of pedestrian and prolific is one that I've been trying to get right all my life. Now that I have, I have a deep instinct to keep it all in fine, working condition. That means less time for some other distractions, but none of them were as wonderful, as satisfying, as enriching as what I've traded it for.

It's been a while since I've posted anything new, but mostly because life has been exceptionally good and I've been out living it. When I am home, I'm spending less time in front of this screen, the consequence of which is this blog falling out of date.

I've been seeing someone, as you might have noticed from my most recent pictures and it's going amazingly well. I really do feel ridiculously lucky to have her.

Now that I'm not tethered to a place because of a doctor, I've been considering a move again. I put my plans on hold last year for that reason and it was definitely the best move, but I can't tell that it's time for me to go.

The fortunate part of this is that I have a girlfriend with both a sense of adventure and opportunities with her career to see other places. We've decided when; now we just have to decide where...

Tomorrow

Tonight ends the last day of 30 days of treatment with fluorouracil and I'm pretty happy about it. It's been a long month, though admittedly not as long as it might have been in different circumstances. The physical and mental fatigue due to treatment haven't been as bad this time around and I contribute that greatly to the fact that I'm in a better place in my life this time.

Last night we stayed in and watched episodes of Californication, laughed and ate comfort food. We joked about who we are, where we are from and where we are headed. it was one of the best nights that I've had in a very long time and I needed it. I've had some rough patches recently, some moments which piled on top of one another might have broken me down, but haven't. They haven't because they are circumstance and my happiness is much larger, much more durable than that.

We went out for a little while tonight and I felt the taxation on my body, but it was still good to be out amongst friends. A friend hugged me and said I felt crackly, and it was the first time all night long I'd even thought about my physical health. We stayed for just long enough and walked home in the cold, arm in arm, discussing the absurdity of calling people from Michigan "michiganders" and here at home now, we sit by the fire, snacking and getting ready to watch a movie.

I'm happy about today and I'm looking forward to tomorrow.

One hell of a week

This week has been pretty hellacious, beginning with the fact that I'm doing another round of treatment for the med issues that I had last year, followed by the news that my great-grandmother passed away and then the sudden death of my puppy. It's time for me to catch a break.

My great grandmother lived a long, full life and I'm happy for her that she passed peacefully in her sleep. I wish I could have made it home for the funeral, but the last minute expenses made it impossible.

I knew that I'd have to do another round of treatment and thankfully none of the bad cells have progressed, they just haven't all gone away. It's a longer round this time, with less frequency, so it should make it a little easier on me than the last time, but for longer. We'll see what sort of tradeoff that is.

The passing of my puppy Taureau has been pretty hard to take. He choked on something while I took him out for a walk late at night and it caused his tongue to swell and his throat to close. I was holding his windpipe open and breathing into his nose, trying to find the obstruction, when he died in my arms. If it hadn't been for Robyn trying to help me find someplace to take him and Kelly L. talking to me on speaker while I worked on him, I don't know what I would have done.

Kelly is the owner of Zoie, who was Taureau's mom. I've spent many days with Zoie in my lap at Boondock and I've always loved her. When she got pregnant, Kelly told me he wanted me to have one of the pups. He didn't ask for anything from me in return, except that I handle the vet bills and shots. I felt like I let him down, which added to the loss.

Last night Robyn and I met Kelly at Boondock and he brought Zoie and Torin (one of her other puppies) with him. Torin crawled into my lap and Kelly told me that if I wanted him, he wanted me to have him. I sobbed openly and Zoie licked the tears from my face, with a low, mournful groan. I told him that I couldn't possibly, that it didn't seem right for me to take Torin, but that the kindness of the offer was appreciated. He told me to think about it, not to take it off the table just yet and that if I found a moment where I was ready for it, the offer stands.

I'm ready for this week to be over. I'm ready for the month to be over.