Dreams

I've been having a lot of seemingly prophetic and slightly disturbing dreams lately. I had another one last night:

I dreamed you decided to marry someone, not because you loved them, but because you were lonely. I was at your wedding because you'd invited me, but you wouldn't speak to me. You and your wedding party were taking pictures in my car, with the top down, and you looked so sad, but no one would let me near....

I've dreamt of people from the past persecuting me my current lifestyle, career and the choices I've made, while people from the present came to my defense, to my aid. I dreamed about living in a place where I didn't speak the language and I was smiling because I didn't have to answer any ones questions.

I don't know what argument my sleeping self is having with my waking mind, but they clash when I close my eyes and these dreams are the result of it all. I don't put a lot of stock into any one dream, but the fact that the last few nights have brought vivid thoughts about conflict in my life has to mean something.

Each of those dreams had me dodging the trouble at the end, solving it in a way that wasn't completely obvious or direct. They typically end with me adapting, dealing, changing the things that I'm able to and accepting the things that I can't. These dreams don't make me feel helpless, hopeless; they make me feel like I'm good at dealing with things, even if they don't turn out the way I might have hoped.

..I waited for you and you finally came to me. I knew if I spoke to you, you'd leave, so I kissed you on the cheek, wishing you the best silently, and I squeezed your hand to let you know that I'd be there for you...