"Tell me if you want me to fuck off or tell me if you want me to hold your hand. Tell me if you want me near or far. Not eventually, not tomorrow or yesterday. How do you want me now?"
"All the above. This is still raw to me I'm at a different place then you."
"I can't be near and far, so if you can't decide, I'll choose far".
She doesn't want "far" she tells me. She doesn't want "near" She wants me close enough to push and pull me, have me at her disposal. I left, she say's, so that entitles her to act how she is, despite the fact I may have (did) good reason to have left.
She's swore to me, to others that things are different, cried that no one gives her a chance to prove it. So I do and instead of seeing something different, she just rails against me for having left. I give her the choices and she refuses to make them. I tell her that she can have whatever she wants, but she won't say what that is. She won't give me an answer that will give me the ability to exercise an option, because she wants me to be every bit as frozen as she is.
She knows that I don't like stationary bikes or treadmills, because you are running fast and you should be so far, but you aren't. She like's them though and wants to watch me peddle away.
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