open up the doors

I closed my eye's for a few moments last night before getting up for a photo shoot at 6am. I'd been out late, and this time around I was in front of the lens instead of behind it. It's for a band and we are being photographed for a local magazine because we are playing a local festival later this month. We carried our makeshift instruments far out into the industrial area and took photo's until we were rained on. We all stopped for coffee and then took a handful more photo's (this one was snapped on my phone) after the rain cleared and I've just made it home to a shower and hopefully bed.


The night didn't start as cheerful though. It's had it's discourse, all related to trying to be a good person, a good friend to my ex. She tends to do hurtful things, like tell me about the fun she's had fun doing something else and then making excuses why she doesn't have the time to talk to me. She's quick to call or send a message if she wants me to know what she's been up to, the adventures, the fun, or in need of advice but when it's my turn to talk, she's never there. I'd been trying to take a zen like approach to it all; never be bothered by her, by way of never expecting anything from her. Then I realized that just means that I've got a person occupying a large place in my heart, my head, my life that doesn't offer anything in return and so I decided to make room; open up the doors..