carpe

I've been toying with the idea of driving back to where I'm from to visit family. I've got a niece that's a year old that I've never met. My grandmother is also hospitalized, so i need to go and visit her as well.

My last trip home was for a funeral a year and a half ago and it wasn't a good one, for any number of reasons ranging from the passing of my grandmother to the unavailability of my ex to make any effort to support me (she never even considered going with me and barely uttered a word of support, even when I called her late at night needing her). I felt so disconnected and alone in that moment that I knew life changes would have to be made in order for me to ensure a hope of happiness in the future.

I recently met a girl named Ellie who's lived not far from where I'm from. I mentioned that I might drive there and she expressed an interest in splitting gas, because she hasn't been back in a while. I'm considering it; I'd welcome the company on a long road trip; my last one took a lot out of me in some ways.

I've also been spending time with someone new. We have been taking things slowly, but she's been an amazing friend to me and I appreciate her more every day. I'm not really sure where we are going just yet, but I'm happy to have gotten the chance recently to get to know her.

My life has taken lot's of turns recently. Lot's of doubling back and sometimes circling. I felt like I was in holding patterns for a little while, but in stepping back, I realize I've been making more progress than I thought. I've been changing, moving away from the things that I was unhappy with and while every once in a while I lament the loss of the past some moments, I've been moving forward steadily to seize the future instead.